These days I’m trying not to put too much pressure on myself to create perfect paintings. I’m working on enjoying the process and the way it benefits my mental health. When I’m painting, my anxiety goes down, and I’m able to focus on the colors, water and brush strokes. It’s almost like meditation in a way.
Read moreOur Turn to Talk - teen mental health storytelling podcast and film
I’m excited to be working for Principle Pictures on promoting a campaign that is close to my heart - Our Turn to Talk - a film and podcast focused on teen mental health produced by Principle Pictures in partnership with WETA-PBS.
Read moreThis old blog
Five years, four months of my life is documented on my first blog. My blogging training wheels. When Vivian turned eight months old, I made a decision to tell my story. From the beginning I wanted to write openly, with my real name attached to my writing. But time and again I was advised to stay anonymous. Think of the children, they said. What if a mother of a child in their school finds your blog and won't let their kids play with yours because you're bipolar?
Read moreFocusing on mental wellness
I had a conversation today that stuck with me. It's got my brain focused on the concept of mental wellness and how this April it will have been seven years since my last psychiatric hospitalization. On one hand the cold metal of the handcuffs around my wrists and the click of the officer tightening them to escort me to the psych ward feels like a lifetime ago, but on the other, my choppy memories remain vivid enough to remember like it was yesterday. I'm so proud of this path I've been on. I'm proud of my husband and my parents who fought like hell for me when I could only see gray. I'm proud of how I learned to advocate for myself, and how I didn't listen to my psychiatrist who told me I should keep my bipolar diagnosis a secret when I shared my desire to write openly to fight stigma. I don't want to think about where I'd be today had I listened to her advice.
Over these past seven years I've learned how to control my mental health disorder so that I have the upper hand. I've invested time and energy into focusing on my mental health, rather than allowing a diagnosis rule my life.
I'm becoming more aware of the fact that what we surround ourselves with has a huge impact on our well being. And I'm attracted to people, products, services, books and even clothing that helps me focus on cultivating a healthy lifestyle.
We're only here for such a short time. Yes, there will be struggles. Yes, there will be times when we'll fail. But we all deserve to be happy and healthy.
Today I choose to cultivate my mental health. Sharing my story has played a big part in my mental wellness because I needed to let go of the shame associated with the trauma of being hospitalized against my will, and once I began blogging, the shame, isolation and embarrassment melted away. In large part because so many people appreciated my openness and then shared their story with me. When we find the courage to be vulnerable, others feel they have permission to also share.
Through blogging I found info on healthy eating which lead me to make shifts in my eating patterns. I began feeling better and then became more active. Thanks to my brother's encouragement, I found a workout program that I was able to stick with. Exercising regularly has kept me physically healthy. I can't remember the last time I was very sick (knock on wood).
And recently I found a meditation app that I love and I've been making time to meditate every day. It's amazing what a quick 10 or 15-minute meditation can do for the mind and body. I definitely feel my creativity starting to flow again, and overall my mind feels more at ease and calm.
Mental health is something that we're all living with. Taking care of our mental health and nurturing our body so that our minds can stay healthy is so important. We only have one mind, one body, one chance at life. Mental illness may be something that you or a family member or friend may encounter. But it doesn't have to mean that life is over.
It means there is a different path ahead, and you can get through it. Trust me. I've been there.